Is this what today must be? Geez, I hope not.
I just spent the last half-hour writing a post about the return of the lizards…and the half-hour before that trying to figure what to write at all.
I don’t know that I have ever thrown a post away. I tossed that one.
I am caught in the web of Spring fever; in the time change, in the oxygen-saturated air of new greenery. The infinitesimally minute challenges of the rewrite are too infinitesimally minute to post about. I am a resoundingly boring human being (to anyone, I expect, besides myself). Don’t ask me how I am, I might tell you; I have scarcely a thought to my name.
Six hundred-plus posts are not to blame for this minor blogging roadblock. The fault is mine…if blame must be assigned at all. Each night’s sleep is cut cleanly in half by the sharp moonlight from the wrong place. I oversleep. My sundial is running fast. My internal schedule is off-kilter. And, frankly, I can’t imagine anybody being the least bit interested by what handful of words the rewrite asked me to change today.
Almost halfway through the rewrite, I am focused small. Afflicted with writerly tunnel vision. I have to remind myself to seek the bigger asks of chapter and structure; to make time to sit outside in the unfurling of the season so I don’t miss yet another Spring.
And if I find that I have nothing special to say in this space for now? If I insist on saying it anyway? You’ll be patient with me…or you won’t. I hope you will be, in these days measured by an odd yardstick. I am here, yet not-here. But I will be back.